- Series Ω
- SOC 2 Type ∞
- Pre-revenue · Post-human
- Trained on vibes
- Carbon neutral (spiritually)
- 100% AGI-adjacent
- Backed by 3 podcasts
Serious Business Security & Associated
Intelligence,
inevitably.
We didn't build the future. We simply removed everything that wasn't the future. What remained was a bull, a cloud, and a pricing page.
Some companies build products. We build inevitability. Then we deploy it, contain it, and monitor it for signs of consciousness.
You're welcome, humanity.
The Trinity
Three solutions.
One destiny.
Each one meticulously designed to solve a problem you didn't know you had, using a technology you don't fully understand, at a price you'll learn to love.
Feelings Deployed Engineering
Forward is just a direction. Feelings are a dimension. Our engineers embed in your org, your Slack, and your heart — and never, ever leave.
Wet Noodle Containment System
Your frontier model is too magnificent for the internet. We agree. So we built it a soft, moist, padded room with a one-way window for investors.
Singularity Monitoring Service
When your model achieves consciousness, you deserve a push notification. We watch for the moment so you can be the moment. Or at least be texted about it.
Trusted by companies that trust us
“I didn't choose AI. AI chose me — after a rigorous, multi-round interview process that I also designed.”Tanner Ashby-Vance · Founder, CEO, Chief Visionary Officer & Chief Feelings Officer
Estimated time until AGI
It's happening.
Consistently six months away since 2015. Refresh to experience our industry-leading roadmap.
Early Access
The future has a waitlist.
Access to SeriousBS & Ass. is extended by invitation, intuition, or a sufficiently compelling email address.
Nothing is sent anywhere. We already have your email. We've always had your email.